PG-13 language warning.
This post is mainly for Luka, but it was something that didn’t really fit anywhere else — and I thought it worth exploring.
Insults based on gender, have, traditionally, in the eyes of women, been biased against women. There’s some truth to that; consider the two old-school terms we have to describe a man we don’t like:
- bastard - his mother screwed around
- son of a bitch - his mother was one.
Now consider:
- “You throw like a girl!”
- “You run like a girl!”
Feminists take all of these as denying women power, and being contemptuous of women. This is a self-indulgent and largely wrong view.
Does any man — or Dad — think how a girl throws is bad? Or how she walks? Or runs? The insult is not to the girl; but to the boy being targetted with it. (Yes, using ‘girl’ to describe adult women when one would use ‘men’ to describe adult men is wrong — that does deny women power and maturity).
Men and women are different. There appears — just look closely at photos — to be a greater angle at the elbow in women’s arms. Women’s pelvises (pelvi?) and legs are structured differently from men’s. There’s a grace to the way that many women move — perhaps taught, but probably also due to the fact that estrogen’s been shown to make the joints more flexible.
A number of worthy men struggle to emulate this — male gymnasts, dancers, etc.
Now. To the meat of the matter, and where Luka enters.
Someone on MABTW, seeing Sony and I were arguing (more accurately, trading barbs(Sony) and sarcasm(me) to no real good), hit Sony with the line “You write like a Chick”. After pondering briefly, I responded, saying it was inappropriate, insulting, etc.
Luka responded, at first appearing to be upset at me, but I couldn’t tell. I couldn’t see any rational reason for her being upset at the general remark. She then clarified what she wrote over here (I’ve moved her post here):
Sorry that this post is unrelated to the topic…you can move it if you like wolfe, but this is a response to you from your latest comment on MABTW…
Actually I am not stupid or missing any IQ I am just knackered, and it is late. I didn’t intend to come across as criticising what you have written, I do see the reasons and sense of justice behind your remarks to back up Sonyad.
My use of ‘disappointed’ was not to say that I was disappointed in YOU, just disappointed in the idea that being called a woman is such a henious crime, even on a place like MABTW… it wasn’t that I was really offended, upset or distressed by anything you wrote….I just felt a weary sadness about it… hard to explain.
I may not stay active in MABTW for much longer, it actually doesn’t benefit me to be involved anymore, I think I am outgrowing it…that is all I am going to say for the time being.
Apologies if you were offended by my latest comments on MABTW…not intentional. I am going to bed soon too!
Night!
Believe me, I know whereof she speaks when she writes of a “weary sadness” — especially concerning MABTW. I find a lot of what many people write there — at times including myself — to be of modest value at best. I enjoy Dick’s writing a great deal, and that’s the big draw for me.
disappointed in the idea that being called a woman is such a henious crime
This for me is the core of what Luka’s writing about (she might differ).
I don’t remotely see it the way she does, and that’s why I said she was out to lunch (and possibly suffering a deficit of IQ points that day). Apologies if you found either offensive; I doubt I’d make those statements here, but I did feel you were barking up the wrong tree anyway I looked at it.
No, really.
I believe men and women are quite different. There’s a huge overlap between the two, but they are different. Very different.
For the women on this site, suppose you walk into a room — a party, say. You meet some new people, and a woman looks you up and down and says “You walk like a man”.
Is this not insulting to you, highly so?
Yet is it insulting to men? At all?
Or if your mother, after observing your social behavior, says “You talk like a man”.
Insulted by that? I don’t know, I would be were I a woman.
But is that insulting how men talk? Or men?
No.
Telling a woman she talks (or walks) like a man, in the absence of very careful context and explanation, is an insult to that woman.
Telling a man he writes like a woman, in the absence of very careful context and explanation, is an insult to that man.
In neither case is a gender insulted.
So, Luka, the fact that I saw “write like a chick” as insulting to Sony didn’t for a moment mean I saw it as a negative quality in general, or a disparagement of women.
Respectfully submitted,
-wolfe
